Blithering Idiot
There is one lesson that it seems I am too stubborn to learn.
On the whole (and this is a bit of an air-brushing kind of comment that glosses over various rough edges and so on and so on but if those edges weren't smoothed off, this would very quickly become an awfully long post before I even got to the point I was really intending to make...) I am quite content to be me.
The mistake I keep making though is imagining I will become someone entirely not like myself in some magical turn of events...
When I was a wee lass (up to about the age of 24 and one month), I thought I was going to turn into this different person when I got married. I had this image of this incredibly serene and poised lady who wafted down the aisle, took everything in her stride, had time to say something kind/witty/lovely to every guest, did not fluster, did not get over-excited by life...
Needless to say, that didn't happen. In actual fact, I continued to be me, much to Husbink's relief (I think!). But this is the mistake I keep making, recently in terms of giving talks and writing blogs. I keep attempting to do these things as another, fictional, person (with varying qualities). And of course, it doesn't work, does it?
When it comes to the giving talks side of things, I normally work it out before doing the talk and sort it out, but when it comes to the blogs... Because I can just make up another blog and another blog and do what I want, I don't tend to pause and think and thus it has taken me a while to realise that I have (at times) been trying to write someone else's blog.
Now that I've worked this out...I very much doubt you'll notice any difference in what you read here! But I might.
(In other news...THE headline story on the 6 o'clock news this evening? David Beckham has arrived in Wellington...)
3 comments:
hey - i am a total sucker for this particular form of self-delusion. i think it is partly a mental product of living in our society that we feel a constant drive to remake ourselves into a new and improved version. i am interested in this subject, and the effect it has on me - think i might post about it soon also. thanks for the inspiration.xx
I'm with you as well. Blogging can certainly be a part of self delusion - particularly the need to be "interesting" (although we all love you, so you could type out the telephone directory and we'd find that interesting). Something I grapple with two. Although I have become a different woman since I got married.....
d/w - looking forward to your post :) yes, there is a balance between good striving and bad striving I guess. I think I'm becoming generally more content but that may lead to more lazy too!
MM - Thank :) I may just resort to the telephone directory today! In what ways are you different now? Happy with the difference?
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