I have decided

So. The journalism course. That didn't go so well. :s
BUT. In a very helpful sort of way. I'd been pondering journalism (quite a bit at Husbink's encouragement) for quite a long time and, although some of my issues with the course are with the course, I have now established that it isn't something I want to do. I'm not, umm, hmm, thing enough. I'm really not quite sure what thing is. It's not that I'm not curious enough. It's not that I'm not disciplined enough.
If anything (and this is going to sound quite dumb and like I should have known beforehand), it's just that I don't like reading magazines all that much. Meh.
So, I've paid for it, I can't have a refund, I'll still receive all the tutorials. There have been some interesting nuggets in what I've read already so I'm sure I'll read through them all at some point and that what I pick up will be useful so I'm not beating myself up over this. What I am doing is being fairly sure what it is I want to do now. Which is quite a marvel for me!
1) I want to be a mum. Well, durrrr!
2) I want to be a tutor. As I finished with my GCSE students a few weeks ago I realised just how much I enjoy tutoring. I currently have a couple of younger students (who are very hard work) and I briefly had an adult student that I may pick up with again in September. These are both good but it is actually the year 9/10/11 stage that I really enjoy. It is fun maths, easy enough for me to teach and also the bit where many people suddenly realise a flare for some part of the subject. It's great! I know I won't have any new students for a year now (probably) but I know I'll want to go back to it as soon as I can.
3) I want to make a serious go of getting one of my novels published. I will finish editing. I will do my research. I will send it off to all the right people. It may not come to anything but it is certainly not going to come to anything wasting away on my laptop semi-finished. This was the main thing that became absolutely clear from the journalism course. I love to write and I love to write what I love to read - I love to read novels, I love to write novels. I don't love to read articles, I don't love to write articles. Wish me luck!

So tired...

...but want to post!
I've had a nice day today, doing nice things but actually I think it is the one hour of work (seeing one of my students) that has been the best part of the day.
I've seen this student twice a week almost every week since October. She's a lovely bubbly girl, very easy to talk to and teach (in terms of responsiveness) but she does struggle with the subject more than anyone I've taught before.
It is a month tomorrow until her first GCSE exam. I have been very worried about her abilities and whether I have earned all the money her parents have been giving me over the past six months.
On Wednesday I saw her and she proved to me that things have changed in the past few months. Her mental arithmetic was fantastic. I was very impressed and relieved.
Today, everything seemed to be working. There were still bits that she needed help with (otherwise I would really have been stealing my fee) but it seemed that suddenly things were clicking. There will be plenty more moments in the next month when I'm concerned about the exams again but for now I'm really pleased that there is a good chance of the necessary grade afterall! Hurrah!