Tuesday, January 02, 2007

new year, new you?

I'm not really one for the resolutions thang. I can't normally come up with anything precise enough to make it a resolution. But I do like to take the opportunity to take stock and see what might be a good thing to change, much as I do during Lent and around summer holidays.
So.
This time last year, I was very glad to see the back of 2005. It had been a not very pleasant year with the onset of the IBS and the general sinking further into OCD/phobia-ridden life was at its deepest. My resolution for 2006, were I to have called it a resolution, was to have more fun. Not in a self obsessed, pleasure seeking way but in a stopping worrying, starting appreciating the good things in life (especially Husbink), generally getting my perspective right way. And see where that has taken me!
This year, I'm not so keen to scramble out of the previous year. I did manage to "have more fun" in 2006. I've made leaps and bounds with the IBS and the phobias/OCD (to prove this point, I stuffed and roasted a chicken on New Years Eve without anything close to a meltdown. That won't mean much to some of you but others will appreciate the milestone nature of this!) But there is still ground to be made. It is still a cause for celebration when I manage to do normal people things without washing my hands. I still worry and stress more than is healthy. And thus I still have times of IBS. I still don't appreciate Husbink for all he is worth (will I ever manage that? He's worth so much!).
So I think my non-resolution for the next bit of time, be it the year or just until Lent or coming home when something else replaces it, will be to keep on the same track.
I also had some new home resolutions and hopes which have been coming together. I hoped that leaving a lot of possessions in the UK would help me lose some of the materialistic nature I'd acquired of late. (Brought on in part by the IBS: if I can't feel nice, I want nice things.) I have achieved some of that change of mindset but I have no idea whether it is a permanent change or a situational change: once I'm back with all my stuff, will I just want more?
I hoped I would find something to be passionate about again. I've certainly found a job I care about and enjoy for the first time. I think it is slowly forming what I will be passionate about but I don't know the answer yet.
I hoped I would work out what was really important to me and my life. Again, some progress but nothing really concrete yet.
And one final thing that wasn't in that original thinking but is becoming so again (thanks in part to Mad Medea's recent post) (it was something I was working on pre-IBS monster) is to work on my ethical standards once more. Be it recycling, not getting frightened by the checkout assistants who think I'm mad for bringing back my own carrier bags, buying more fair trade, buying more locally sourced produce, driving less, growing vegetables, writing letters about things that matter...
I'll keep you informed. Most likely more informed than you want to be!

6 comments:

Amy said...

Ooh, you went beta! Well done!
So very well done on the chicken thing - very proud of you indeed! And I think your thinkings have made me consider other things a little bit more than I perhaps was... So perhaps I shall make some proper resolutions, like you seem to have done! Mwah xx

Mad Medea said...

Glad its not just me who gets a little reflective in a non-resolution type way at this time of year.

Chicken stuffing.... have you photographic evidence as that is a real achievement?

MM.xx

Pomgirl said...

I like your non-resolution resolutions! Sounds like healthy thinking to me. Good luck, me dear.

AdventuringJen said...

Welshrella - I knew you'd be proud! I think Scouse Dangermouse nearly fell off her chair when I told her! I'll be interested to hear any further thinkings you have. :) I have been beta for a little while as my non-beta got in a big old grump...but only yesterday did I actually do anything relating to the beta!
MM - Sadly no photographic evidence. But Husbink enjoyed it so much that it will have to happen again soon!
Pom - Thank you :) I will no doubt be keeping you all informed!

SuzySnoo said...

Hurrah for a better 2006. Hope 2007 is even betterer. You know what I mean!! :)

AdventuringJen said...

Yay! Snoo is back! :) Lovely to see you. And yes, same too you! xxx
ps word verification: smenita - sure that should be a real word...any offers?