Where next?
In the past few weeks, through one thing and another - and about one thing and another, not just Burma - I've realised that something that I thought had died in me is still there and struggling to get out - my passion.
When I was younger I was always deeply passionate about something (though that thing changed with alarming regularity) but over the past few years (maybe as many as seven), I've struggled to raise my passion's weary head and get caught up in a moment, a cause, a plan. I've exerted more energy on worrying than on caring, more on anxiety than on action.
But now that seems to be starting to turn around. It perhaps started with some rather insignificant, silly things, that got me excited again. Now those silly little passions seem to be building towards something bigger, a more useful outlet for all that enthusiasm and excitement. So the problem that now arises is how to channel it, how to not be like my teenage self, so enthusiastic but for so many things that I failed to achieve much at all. Right now, I want to do everything, save the world, in one giant leap. I know I'm not a very practical person, much more of an ideas person. (I used to think that because I'm quite organised, I'm quite practical but I've realised that just isn't the case.) So how do I choose something, get off my backside and actually start acting?!
(In other news, I did turn down the job with the changed description, and feel a whole heap better for it!)
3 comments:
well done you for not only having passion, but wanting to use it. It is always hard to focus on one thing and actually follow it through. And how do you choose between human rights and poverty, the environment and animal conservation? It's a hard question. Maybe you can find something with an active local group you could get involved with? Good luck with working it through...
You are quite inspiring little Jen, with your asking yourself hard questions. Well done. Keep going. Try some things and see if your passion is in them - I'm sure your church people and others around have ideas if you talk to them (casually!). Love ya. Promise I'll e-mail soon, I am thinking of you both :)
d/w - It is hard when every knew thing that comes along is valid and necessary and so on - knowing what is your own passion versus being blown by the wind of someone elses passion...
Ruth - Thank you :) I found a really cool volunteer job yesterday but don't have enough time left here to get involved with it. However, it gives me something to think about for coming home (friendship/language partnering with newly arrived refugees/asylum seekers) And I'm sure I owe you an email so I'll race you...!
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